The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
