My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
