Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize