First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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