i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize