Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
