i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
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There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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