My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
