The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
