I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
is that a dick in a sweater?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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