Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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