I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
