i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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