you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
