Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
