the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
