Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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