I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My liver just had a heart attack.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
