she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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