My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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