my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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