i don't like sucking hair
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
