So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
