That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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