Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
