Jerry, you need to find god
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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