quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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