my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
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I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
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As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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