My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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