I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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