thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
