He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm both gender and math confused
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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