Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
