Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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