just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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