Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize