Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
