he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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