Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
