my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
