apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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