pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
