He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
