i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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