is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
