I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am puke
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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