Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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