if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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