Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
