Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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