Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
What a dumb baby whore.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
