cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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