You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Farmville is her only friend.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
