okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
