She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
