gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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