You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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