I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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