Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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