he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
