my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
it's like heaven, but drunker
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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