its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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