I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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