it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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